Ass Management

 

The term management is a deep sea and encapsulates multiple streams of skillsets which is endless and vary significantly from one situation to other. Although, it carries fourteen principles which encompasses its ambit but seems modern world has altered or devised new ones based on its convenience. One of such distinguished skillsets not being covered in traditional principles of management is Ass Management which is nothing but the art of closing your eyes, covering your ass and pretending everything is just perfect. Sounds weird? So, weird is new normal and traditional principles might not suffice to ensure a peaceful journey? If we have not mastered the art of ass management, will we be still able to walk on our own or would need a wheelchair?

When we grow up; our parents constantly give us the vaccines of bravery, honesty, loyalty, hard work and what not. Once we come out of cocoon, we realize that there was nothing wrong in those principles especially when we portray ourselves to the world, but the staircase of upper floors might require us to think and action beyond this pandora box of adjectives. If we are not flexible to bend against the requirement, we might end up standing outside the building and doodle how to enjoy the view from terrace. Modern world pushes us to be what it wants, and we are always perplexed to decode if we are using the right staircase. There was a time when it was said do the right thing. Then it got changed to the selection between wrong and what is lesser wrong. Finally, the new age entails us to first cover our ass, don’t care much about any anything else & rest will follow the suit on its own.

This goes without saying that the dilemma between right or wrong is not something new. It’s always been there from ages but what has really changed is how often we make these choices, and do we even have that dilemma anymore or are we already immune to it? It’s very convenient to crush our conscience and say we had to cover our ass. So technically being 100% perfect we are forced to be deaf, blind and dumb. We can see/hear everything but for others we didn’t see/hear anything and speaking about it might uncover ass for the masses. So best way to shine and glitter is to handicap ourselves and enjoy the view being blindfolded, relish the music without ears and be involved in the conversation sealing our lips accompanied with a silicon smile.

If we compare past times v/s today, one thing has surely changed i.e. illusionary notion of perfection. We ought to be 100% perfect even when we breath or else the bubble of perfection we have blown up all through our life will burst in no time and will dissipate our dreams as if they never existed. At the least we expect the life to be a trampoline where lows will atleast ensure taking us to highs as well, but the notion of perfection is like a slippery slope. Once we get on to it, there is no point looking behind as nothing can be done/undone. Needless to say, this pressure of being perfect is something which persuades everyone to be worried about covering their ass all the time and mask their sanctity until it vanishes.

 Changing times can definitely require us to have unique and distinguished skillsets but no one in the world can control the choices we make. We might see majority following the crowd, but we always have exceptions who crusade their journey basis their principles and don’t succumb to momentary pressures. They might be at risk more than others but when it comes to risk, our asses can be uncovered anytime no matter what we follow. The principles of the management are not less than the bible and shouldn’t fade away just because someone prefers to be weak and making himself/herself artificially handicapped. So, we always have the option not to suppress our inner voice and face the mirror with pride? Well the choice is all ours and the way we wish to steer our life!!!

Disclaimer: Nothing written in this blog has reflection of any individual known to me/place of my work/my journey. It’s purely based on experiences we come across meeting people from different streams.

Hopes during Catastrophe

Covid-19 will undoubtedly embark a memorable historical incident for the generations to come and will always make people doodle the wrath masses across the globe had to go through. It’s that return of the Saturn moment which probably most of us might have heard/read in books and may get to face once in a lifetime. The outbreak of this virus has eclipsed the entire world and has brought every possible movement to a standstill. Not even a single country is left to declare a complete shut down for weeks/months depending on the magnitude of the outbreak. Quarantine is the only solution at the moment and billions of people are locked down like being sent to jail out of the blue. The spine of the economy is crackling and the virus of recession is looming all over. It has already caused lives of thousands of masses (31k and still surmounting) with loss of trillions of dollars which encompasses the size of economies of biggest countries. It can’t get more devastating especially when no one knows whether it’s just the beginning or a mid-point and how much of catastrophe is still on the way.

All of this began from China being the epicenter at the beginning which moved on to Europe and now to US. With more than 0.7 million cases already diagnosed, we are heading no where to get rid of it. Every single creature is quiet and waiting for that one eureka moment when there will be a positive update but alas, darkness is in no mood to lose the battle. The worse of all is to discover why all of us are punished and keep reading countless articles regarding the origination which is insanely mysterious. Few articles say it was literally created in a lab to be used as a biological weapon, but few claim the origination to be the seafood market in China where it got transmitted to human beings through animals. There is no confusion around the birth place but what sucks is to fathom how it came into existence. Should it be just a coincidence that one book talked about it in 1981 and the city of the origin is same? How come beeline of articles without any basis claiming it to be intentionally created? How come all at a sudden a complex virus came into existence and in this technological advanced world no cure/remedy is possible to decode it? Nothing reconciles in the head and something seems to be weird.

It’s not different than someone playing the game of statue and pausing the ECG of life for an indefinite period. Suddenly, we feel lucky if we are the ones who got to grab the essentials after standing in the queue for merely couple of hours. People have started hoarding random stuff in the fear of non-availability even when part of it will expire/waste anyway. Stock markets have plummeted by almost 40% and still bleeding. Multiple MNCs have started announcing layoffs, pay cuts, several cost cutting measures, postponement of increments/promotions/bonuses and what not. Governments have started infusing stimulus packages to ensure economy is at least not out of breath. Institutions/celebrities have started doling funds to the maximum stretch of their bandwidth. Poor people have started walking towards their village with their belongings even when it might take a month to reach to their destination as they can’t afford to live in the city anymore. Banking regulators have started slicing base rates like never before and declaring moratorium for a quarter. All this is merely a tip of the iceberg as the pandemic beneath what we have seen/heard so far is yet to show its true colors.

Stepping out of our home, seeing someone and greeting them, going for a casual stroll, going to office/schools/malls/restaurants/parks/gym/events/salon, booking a cab, visiting your friends/kins, going for shopping/movie and tons of such unnoticed reasons to go outside our home feels like a distant memory and the most precious gift of life. With a very strict surveillance round the clock, it’s almost impossible to step out of the home and get a fresh gush of air. Everyone cribbing about their family time are now flooded with it and are overwhelmed & perplexed how to capitalize it to the fullest. We always took these moments of life for granted and never sensed how blessed we are to have it as part of our lives. We never treated them luxuries of life and nature has its own way to educate people when ignorance blindfolds us.  If we don’t plan to give a break to the nature, it will snatch in a way where we will not able to plan our forced break.

No one has been so desperate for anything as they are today to come out of this trap with no further dent on the soul. Nature’s fury is justified but grudges must vanish before its creation submerges too deep and is completely drowned. It’s very critical to have hope outshining fear, optimism overpowering pessimism, contentment & happiness overshadowing fear, life & health taking over deaths & sickness, smiles reigning over tears. The windmill of economy can’t be muted forever and make everyone homeless & penniless. The slogan “the one who keeps running is the winner” can’t be replaced with “the one who is still is the winner”. Isolation as a cure is the most sensible thing to do but it has to be buried organically before going backwards for more than a decade. Wish the quarantine is replaced with freedom of life and the invisible monster (whether created or taken birth on its own) never sees the light of the day ever in the future. Hope the countdown of normalcy will begin with a blink of an eye and people get over the mayhem caused by this pandemic in no time. It can’t be eradicated from the history but let’s pray it doesn’t make space in the future, not even tomorrow!!!

Dance of Democracy

In the stained fabric of Indian democracy, the recent chain of events in Karnataka added another ostensible blot which would be as permanent as a birthmark.  The disgrace it brought was not less impudent than the gang-rape of an infant. No one is a dumbass who can’t decode what all is going on and who is engineering all of it. Sssshhhhh, but in real all of it was a coincidence. Suddenly 15 MLAs got a pang in the corner of their heart for not being able to server their country in the best possible way and decided to move on. They strongly felt that if they move to the opposition, they can better feed their instincts and dedicate their lives unconditionally with utmost devotion. We say it’s a democratic country where members who can enter the house are elected by public but if we see substance over form, by any stretch of the imagination does this statement makes sense? If we vote for a member, we typically vote for the ideologies of the party then how come the doors are open for such members to cross over and abuse our preference on the face of it?

If we delve into all the drama which went on for couple of weeks, every single event appeared scripted as well fully sponsored. How come all this happened when the CM in power was not in the state? If bunch of servants were pure enough to take a call in the interest of the country, then why did they have to cover their ass by hiding themselves in a resort? How come they used a private jet to run away from the world where few members of leading opposition party were spotted? Why these servants are scared to come back to their own hometown? Till the time trust vote is complete in all respect, why each party is taking their members to an undisclosed location where not even gods have the access? Just imagine, these members will serve the country and make it a great place so that we all can blow the trumpet “India Shining”, hahaah nice joke, right? Isn’t it like holding on your pant for the whole day or else it would drop off? What’s the utility of such trouser which can’t even stick to your waste and is simply a pain in your ass than to cover it at the least?

You don’t need to be an intellectual after when these arrays of questions will start popping in your head. Even an illiterate can smell the rat but still would prefer to stay mum as powerless people are supposed to act blind although they can see everything. Watching all this happen is not less exasperating than watching a gang rape but alas, neither the public who vote have any right/power nor the ones who skip this with pride. When we vote for a party and just after when election results are out, the same party join hands with the one which was portrayed as their opposition/rival, then how voting process has any sanctity left? All what matters, in the real world, is the power of being in power and power of money and if that’s the case they shouldn’t our country be saving 60k-70k crores which is spent on elections? How come trading of these members is easier than trading of FMCG products? In our mumbo jumbo constitution there is no provision for such a basic abuse of power?

I sometimes wonder that in the name of political history what can we narrate to our kids and forthcoming generation. I guess the easy option would be to explain them that politics is a synonym for abuse so let’s not talk about it or I would rather prefer to lighten their mood by using these events like jokes/hilarious Tom and Jerry stories. Atleast I can keep them away from the ocean of negativity, impudence, selfishness and voracity. Today the downgrade of politics has reached to a level where it would take centuries to even imagine of the breakeven. With more of such events taking place as if nothing unusual has happened, it will get permanent scars which would be incorrigible. It’s not that horse trading has never happened before and there is a sudden spike in recent years but surely the rate at which members change their political connect, at times its faster than sunlight taking charge of the darkness for another bright day.

During the course of 2 weeks of drama, the so called governor/speaker who are expected to run the show are more powerless/helpless like a one-legged person in a bum kicking competition. Although they act to follow all the protocols and regulations but in real they dance in the direction in which their head captain pulls the strings. In this entire process these people are as useless as ‘ay’ in okay. Neither they can decide anything, nor they have the intention to honor the responsibilities of their position. They are simply slaves who prefers to snooze on no matter how openly the hooligans are ripping apart the sacredness of the world’s biggest democratic set up. These elected members use public as doormats to enter the house and then do everything except the ones which they promised while begging for votes. Nothing can be more devastating when black starts looking like white and smuggling of house members appears to a be a routine business transaction. This is the exactly what we call as dance of democracy.

Mistress of Stress

As per the dictionary definition, stress is a state of mental or emotional strain resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances. Literally, every word used in the definition shouts out loud enough to resonate with zillions of scenarios we all come across in our routine lives. If we simplify it further, it’s nothing but how we react or behave in tough/adverse situations. What if, the definition of tough situation is liberalized, and we tune our minds to consider the given situation as normal? So, does that mean stress is mostly a state of mind for being in stress or in real it exists and cast shadows on our state of mind? Is it fairly simple to be stress free or it requires some efforts to brush it under the carpet? Does stress always harm us or whether it offers some benefits too? Let’s not stress out to analyse its domain and try to combat it to achieve some peace of mind.

We can’t deny that the seeds of stress are sown from the thoughts we allow to dominate us. If we keep feeding our minds to consider something as negative/unpleasant, there is no way that the energy released from the feed would be on a different tangent. If we closely try to decipher the countless moments of stress we have experienced, one thing would be very common i.e. we were stressed because the given scenario was labelled as unpleasant and we never tried to challenge the stereotype. When we are about to go to the podium (veterans are exempted), why do our heart beats skyrocket? Whenever we think of any test/exam/deadline, why does the stress get on to our nerves and make us numb? When we commit any mistake which could have been avoided, why are we worried as if it was the end of the world? As and when we have to manage multiple things, why do we tend to block our minds saying, ‘It’s gonna be a stressful day’? Well, answers to all these questions are engraved within us but we still prefer to be in stress rather than addressing the elephant in the room.

It might not be as easy as it sounds but if we have to get rid of the monster, we need to stir ourselves from the comfort zone and work towards facing it. Our actions are aligned to the thoughts paddling inside us so the shift of focus towards our thoughts will have direct cascading impact on our actions. If our thoughts are dipped in stress, then it’s not possible to have our actions in an organic and best possible way. The whole idea of diffusing the stress is to gain strength to combat the real issue than augment it by giving rise to another one. The more we disassociate ourselves with presuming an event as awful, more strength we gain to take on the issue head-on. Adverse moments are the nature’s preferred agents for inspiring change in us so instead of just worrying about it, it’s important to crack it down and redefine it as a regular moment. If we fuel our minds to extinguish the predefined scenarios of adversity, at the least adverse moments should not affect us psychologically and will allow to deal with it rationally.

Prima facie it must sound crazy, but stress sometimes has a brighter side too which enables us to be on our toes and take certain things with utmost seriousness. Whenever there is a significant event like a presentation, exam, interview, deadline for a task or a crucial meeting etc., we tend to sink our teeth to the core just because the ticking time bomb of stress is not letting us think of anything else. If this stress wasn’t there, probably we wouldn’t have made endeavors to work so hard and maybe the outcome wouldn’t have been the same. So as long as stress induces seriousness which goes in sync with the designated event, pushes us to our limits and doesn’t control our senses; it’s no different than a mistress. If an invisible power prompts us to think and act rationally, can we call it our enemy? Wouldn’t we consider this superpower to be our best friend and wish to have it with us for the rest of our lives?

One thing surely comes out very clearly that stress can be seen as an enemy or mistress depending on how we treat it. Stress is one of those monsters which can devour our peace of mind without even burping but we are the owners who have the right to decide as to how much of peace we are willing to share. Peace and stress are mutually exclusive and if we are determinant to hold on to peace then stress has no other option but to extinguish. It is catastrophic when we embrace stress as is and peace has no other option but to disassociate with us. I am sure given a choice we would hog on to peace over stress so let’s control our peace of mind and stress be the mistress.  With this, these oxymorons will be balanced and we can comfortably snore while we snooze on!!!

 

Lights, Camera, Election!!!

National election is one of those most awaited festivals which occurs once in five years (obviously in normal course) and the excitement it holds is simply unmatchable. We might not be able to connect the dots with remarkable/terrible decisions made by the government during its tenure but, somewhere within, we are thrilled to get the mystery uncovered. The mystery is not confined to getting an answer as to who will be our next PM but it extends to countless things which runs into our minds. Amongst all this anxiety, media doesn’t leave any stone unturned to milk this opportunity of feeding spicy content which either adds to the adrenaline rush we already have or gives us a sense of direction which is even more exciting. Should media be held responsible for the quality of information presented during this sensitive period? Can we consider significant changes, events or decisions made during the election month to be a coincidence? Well, politically, it’s almost impossible to validate this or else we will not be able to call it as politics.

Against all other festivals, this festival entails preparation at a monumental level which goes on for almost a year. All of us know that the money spent on election campaigns and related activities is simply insane. According to the sources, an estimated amount of INR 50k crores to be spent for 2019 elections. Phewwww! by any stretch of my imagination I can’t think of an alibi to spend this much amount to echo your fabricated achievements and outplay other’s mistakes. The biggest question is from where this money comes from? Is there any provision for this spend in our budget? Is this not questionable or all of us are supposed to keep mum and just ignore as we are ignored for 5 years? Have the media considered it as an issue or they are not supposed to think in this direction and highlight issues which are already known to everyone? To be frank, this is worse than being blind as things can be clearly seen but everyone pretends it to be unseen.

Media plays a very pivotal role during this season. What is more important is not the content which they showcase but the way the content is portrayed. This projection can be highly persuasive and can influence the voters to think/act in a manner which is ethically not correct. If I take a very simple example of exit polls (which defies its name to the extent of 100% as the election is yet to kick start), I would personally never be able to comprehend what could be the intended message around it. If I am rest assured that one party is leading already then would it make sense for me to waste my vote by choosing someone at the losing end. Wouldn’t I rather prefer to strengthen someone at the borderline and bypass someone who is way behind the borderline? I noticed beeline of news articles leapfrogging to headlines and getting lot of media coverage but suddenly these headlines have taken a back seat. So now, all at a sudden the mudslinging and the accusations made by one to another is more important than anything else in this world? It’s hard to believe if this projection is ethical and again everyone prefers to cover their naked eyes with their eyelids.

The best part of this festival is yet to come i.e. floodgate of sops, promises, positivity, compassion, waivers, cash distribution/freebies, horse trading, movement of members from one party to another, pre-alliance/ breakups, glamour and so on. Quite often there is a sense of euphoria during this season like stock market skyrocketing, a very robust growth projection in upcoming years, stereotyped reforms suddenly benefiting millions of us without we even realizing it, reservation proposed for a new community, loan waiver, minimum income for the poor and what not. Can we call all of it a co-incidence which would have occurred otherwise also? One month of stock market run outmatched the growth being witnessed in years, so was it organic? How come an airline company which was on the verge of collapse got further aid when it was already indebted for INR 10k crores? How come the biopic on PM is coming exactly in the same week of election? How come the money withdrawn from banks in this season amplified 100 times and high value notes didn’t come back into the system? Shhhhhhh, we can’t talk about these things. How can we stoop so low that we think it’s not a co-incidence?

Ideally this festival is more colorful than Holi as it has numerous shades which can never be known. During holi, even when someone is completely embroiled with multiple colors, we can identify the person but unfortunately during election season it’s impossible to imagine the true colors of our Gods. Pumping up glamour by hiring few jobless film stars is further intended to deviate the real issues and focus on something which is temporary and artificial. What is really required for us is to factor in everything which occurred/missed over the period and not the chain of events close to election time. It shouldn’t be difficult for anyone to fake for a temporary period, but the mask will surely be rotten in 5 years and we can easily see the true picture if we analyze things for a longer period. Lights, Camera, Action sounds good only in reel life and by no means we should draw parallel lines from there to be influenced by the political drama which essentially aggravates during the so called ‘DESH KA MAHA TYOHAAR- LIGHTS, CAMERA, ELECTION!!!

Online Shopping- Buy until you die

We all would agree that technology has the tendency to offer umpteen benefits but mostly at a very high invisible cost and surely online shopping is one of them. It’s one of those drugs which works both ways i.e. it not only creates the adrenaline rush for evaluating and grabbing the best deal but at the same time it takes care of the adrenaline rush generated from other means. Online shopping is much more than getting the product online as compared to hitting the physical set up. It’s a typical form of indulgence where we are well aware as to where we are heading but still choose to ignore and simply love to get carried away. It instigates us to defy our periodic budget and find justification for artificial needs which never existed ever.

Does that mean that online shopping is simply a curse? Not exactly!!! It has different shades ranging from rational buying through dangerous addiction but unfortunately as we start with the rational buying, gradually the lines get blurred and we don’t even realize how and when we have already entered in the dangerous territory of addiction. When it comes to making use of this forum in the right way, it’s not less than a blessing. With the busy schedule, it’s mostly impractical to visit tons of stores for every single thing or one stadium like store for petty things. It can’t get more convenient to order routine things online and get it delivered as per our convenience whereby we can easily get rid of the hassles of crazy traffic as well as spending considerable time.

In a very short span of time this platform has gained popularity, mushroomed like anything and still growing by leaps and bounds. The real penetrating strategy being used to trap billions of customers is not to offer the convenience but to offer magical deals. From billion dollar days to days enticing us to shop till we drop, from season sales to end of reason sale; deals are just getting outrageous and can’t get better for consumers. On one hand, consumers are enjoying the war between online players as it allows them to buy the most coveted products at a throwaway price but at the same time consumers are also not able to gauge their real needs. These crazy deals simply make them blind and creates a lust for possession.

Online shopping has made lives easy but at a huge price. The drug like addiction to compare and check for the lucrative offers is an ostensible trap which keeps haunting every now and then. If we see the bigger picture, the impact is way more toxic. It lures us to possess more and more & look different for the smallest possible occasion or even for no occasion/to binge just because extra-large is coming at the price of small or to own gadgets just because everyone else has it. It has overtaken our common sense and we have stopped realizing the value for money as the products we used to buy at full price are now available for less than 60-70% of the price or the products which we used to dream and couldn’t afford has suddenly became affordable. So, basically, now we wish to own the regular products as they are cheap as well as the fancy ones as they are affordable.

This vicious circle of saving more on more for each category of available products eventually makes us spend way more than what we would have spent otherwise. Now, can we call this proposition rational? Does this count for actual saving? Whether the convenience offered by this forum is worth it? The real epidemic is the effect on the mind set like, “I am getting a branded apparel for just 500 bucks, what else I can ask for?”, “although it doesn’t fit well but not bad as it’s available at 80% discount”, “it’s so cheap that I should buy, if I don’t use it I can gift it to someone”, “I don’t have this color/style in my wardrobe, I can upgrade it with literally no cost”, “I am sure I can use it someday” and the worst one, “it might not be that great but not bad for the discounted price”.

If we simply understand the math behind this model, the trap planned for us is self-explanatory. We all know that there are no free lunches in this world so, obviously, online players are not concerned for the well-being of the entire nation, but they are burning money every second for a bigger reason. It’s high time to take a step back and realize the real objective of buying online and benefiting from discounts. If we choose to skip this introspection now, we would be in the middle of a slippery slope very soon where we would simply stock things for no reason and realize that the budget we used to have for 12 months of shopping is already exhausted in the first quarter, then first month and so on. Need not to say that if the rhythm continues, it would simply lead to ‘BUY UNTIL YOU DIE’. So, let’s use the technology and don’t let the technology use us/ let’s benefit from the offers and don’t let offers get inside our veins!!!

Job Satisfaction

Whenever we hear this term, by default the disclaimer at the start of every movie comes to our mind which would fit in for this term as “Every interpretation around this word is fictional and has no resemblance with anything which exists in real life. Any similarity to actual events is purely coincidental.” Some people say that combining these two terms together is just unfair to humanity. Finding someone who is completely satisfied with his/her job is almost like finding greenery in desert. But why is it so, is it more of how we perceive or the reality actually sucks? Are the expectations around it unrealistic or the real expectations are botched up every time to make us believe that job satisfaction is never possible? It would be quite interesting to decode this one as every disgruntled/satisfied creature can relate themselves to the extent of 100%.

I personally feel that the way most of the employees infer job satisfaction is very similar to what investors infer of insurance products. Insurance products have an element of insurance as well as investment which can’t be compared with typical investment products. If as an investor you buy insurance product based on their return, then surely it will never satisfy you. Coming to the job, it’s very important as to what all we associate with our job. Since, we spend most of the time at office so we tend to associate every aspect of our life with it which sometimes is the real root cause of our dissatisfaction level as a workplace can’t feed every possible need of an individual. As a professional we should be very cautious of weaving our expectations from our job.

I wouldn’t deny the fact that low level of job satisfaction in few cases are very genuine. The reasons in these cases are mainly attributable to lack of rewards & recognition, prejudice, lack of transparency, lack of growth opportunities and most importantly bad leaders/seniors/counselors. Coming to rewards, no one in this world can demystify the unimaginable elements attached to it. 

Everyone at every level has to embrace the reality that rewards will vary from one individual to other. If we can’t understand why it is so then there is nothing worth understanding in our life. Recognition, prejudice and lack of transparency mostly goes hand in hand. This is the worst element to exist in any organisation and unfortunately this is one of those elements which finds space for itself irrespective of tons of efforts made to dissipate it. An entity should never be complacent of the fact that it has controls in place to take care of prejudices which affects recognising the right talent and also creates a damp on the transparency levels.

The next is growth opportunity which is not as simple as it sounds. Chasing growth opportunity is sometimes like chasing sun rays to catch hold of the sun. I don’t say that every job change ever done in the name of better growth opportunity is just a myth but at the same time fancy job descriptions doesn’t always translate into better opportunities. We should accept the fact that we are not NASA scientists who will develop something crazy on a daily basis. If we analyse, we will realize that 95% of the jobs in this world are the ones where more or less same set of things are done in more or less the same fashion so if we peep outside the window to do something very different, we should first do the reality check. Lastly, the most important reason i.e. bad boss/counselor/leader/supervisor. The only thing I can say in this regard is that if you strongly feel about it, fight it out to the extent you can. Don’t give up assuming you are weak and powerless or it will affect your appraisals. In most of the cases the relevant person turns bad because the people let them do so.

Job satisfaction, lot of times, is a euphoria in reverse because we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to believe that it doesn’t exist and choose not to explore possibilities of dealing with it. In majority of the instances, the hardships thrown by a job does more good to an individual than what it takes in return. Each individual has to carefully assess multiple aspects of job before reaching to the conclusion around the satisfaction derived from it. Sometimes, the dissatisfaction from a job is like a mirage which we can see clearly but very soon we realize that it doesn’t exist anymore.

However, if we are quite certain that the current job is like a long chewed chewing gum, there is no point of chewing it further unless a complete makeover is possible. If we continue chewing it, all it’s going to do is to make our jaws pain. We need to make sure that the terms of our satisfaction levels are defined, controlled, planned, executed and monitored by us. No one else can make a job satisfy us as per our needs and wishes. So at the end of the day, job satisfaction is nothing but a reconciliation of ground realities with our priorities, making sure that we understand and make efforts to resolve the non-reconcilable items and finally act/react with prudence if few items are still not reconciled. This term is not different than happiness which in itself is very vague and can’t be achieved unless we learn to be happy in whatever we do than doing things which makes us happy!!!

Fine Dining- An art to challenge your expectations

Food innovation is the new buzzword which hasn’t left any stone unturned to outshine the magnitude of innovation being done all over. For innovation, although sky is the limit but when it comes to food, I guess there is no limit. Restaurants these days are sinking their teeth to the core to come up with ideas which titillate our senses and fulfill all our dreamy gastronomical desires. Unique fine dining experiences are no longer confined to just ambience, presenting the regular food nicely and good service but the span is infinite and extends to every possible element which sometimes is not even within the ambit of our anticipation.

Unfolding the mystery of what all is happening inside the food lab today is like churning sea water to see the world beneath the ground level. The biggest change that has overtaken the whole idea of giving a pleasant experience is to play with your senses and challenge your expectations. The magnitude of your expectations being challenged or senses being duped is directly proportional to the pleasure you experience out if it which is mainly driven from “Molecular Gastronomy”. So basically molecules i.e. smallest unit of a chemical compound is being used which participates in different chemical reaction and change the way a food looks, tastes, as well as feels. The craziest element of molecular gastronomy is virtual flavoring (mainly through the process of evaporation) which doesn’t even allow you to set any expectation. Just imagine an eggplant tasting like banana, looking like potato chips and eventually being used for a dessert; would you even conceive something like this? This is the real world of food experiments happening today.

Molecular gastronomy is given affect mainly with the use of liquid nitrogen to change the food temperature very fast and play with its texture, presentation as well as flavoring. We all would agree that we eat with our eyes. The temptation to hog mainly comes from the way the food looks like which signals our mind to brace for the binge. An additional temptation as of today is around the element of surprise with the deceptive appearance as well as aroma. This element of surprise which deceives your senses actually creates sensation and addiction of trying food more frequently and experience the bliss. Food chains have rightly captured this and are competing around innovative style of cooking, use of bizarre and unmatched ingredients and unique presentation to sensationalize your dining experience.

Apart from the food, the entire dining experience covers tons of other elements which are also repackaged, recreated and presented differently to break the monotony, make you feel special and give you a unique experience. The most common of them is around fancy cutlery which has to go in sync with the opulence of the restaurant and the innovative presentation of the food being envisaged like toy trucks/giant wheel for starters, tiny gas cylinder for beverages, pressure cooker for Indian curries, telephone booth/typewriter for the bills etc. Sometimes the food and the cutlery is so fancy that it gets confusing as to what is there for decoration and what is meant for actual consumption. What also is equally fascinating is the food as per your mood and the best example is the Sunday brunch which is meant to fuel your lazy weekend morning with a fizz & instigate you to slurp till you burp.  

Another leg of different dining experience is around ambience which is based on specific themes like beach, royal ship, metro, cave, Bollywood, sports, vintage, Jungle and so on. One of the most blissful experience I had in terms of a very classy ambience was at a plush restaurant in Gurgaon where you go to the 4^th floor using the lift and come back to the ground floor through an escalator where you get to see an awesome art in the form of landscaping accompanied by a water reservoir surrounded with flames which is simply impossible to put into words. Obviously, if something like this is curated specifically to add to your experience, it makes a hell lot of difference and can’t be bypassed.

It’s very exciting to plan and zero in upon a venue out of countless options. The marathon of excitement continues with the unique description in the menu or having a digital menu, ambience, combination of ingredients never heard before, fancy cutlery, the reconciliation of your expectation with the food being served, customizations like private dining, customized decoration & menu etc. This is one of the most competitive area which keeps the food chains on the edge to keep thinking out of the box and benefits the customers to have endless divine experiences. If all of it continues in the same fashion, days are not far when we will have championships like Olympics to showcase insane level of culinary skills. Bon Appetite!!!

Relationships at workplace

From the gamut of different relationships that I have come across, I believe relationships at workplace are the most complex one. The complexity attached to this equation is attributable to multiple factors and decoding this entails tons of maturity. Logically, if we see today’s working conditions, an individual spends most of his/her life in office. It’s quite obvious that if we spend considerable time with folks in office, we tend to get closer to them than anyone else especially when the workplace is not in your hometown. It’s also obvious that we will carry similar emotions for them that we would have for our near and dear ones as they fall in the same bucket but from a different source.

Healthy relationships at workplace have countless benefits and can surely generate better results than it would generate otherwise. This works even better if it’s a team work and most/all of the team members are known to each other before the kick start of the project. This simply means that the team can save time in on-boarding & getting to familiarize with each other. Team members will know and easily grasp/adapt to the working style of the other members which is mainly driven from their acquaintance. The best thing about this arrangement is the excitement amongst the members to work with their besties and to get away with the hassles of working with someone whom they know partially or don’t know at all.

It’s a known fact that if the members are absolutely comfortable with the working environment, they tend to give their best as they don’t carry the baggage of apprehensions relating to other team members.  Also the members get along well for work purposes as well and are not hesitant to share their views or voice out routine challenges/issues, if any. This further strengthens the teaming between different members and diminishes the possibility of people issues which is one of the most common epidemic and can create a dent on the smooth flow of the project. Till the point we talk about healthy relationships, it has countless benefits and surely better than any other arrangement. But I wish life was as seamless as it seems to be.

The same arrangement can be equally complicated and hollow if we see things outside the project output. We should also be mindful of the fact that independence is an indispensable pre-requisite of any organization/project/work arrangement. Independence is presumed to be hampered the moment any relationship is established/known like sibling, husband-wife and any entity would make sure to place them separately in a way that they don’t cross ways with each other. But why is this done? What if two sisters or husband-wife working together can produce best results? That simply means that there is something much more important than the work productivity. If the independence can be hampered for established/known relationships, it can surely cast shadows on other equations like close friendship.

Imagine someone appraising his wife, interviewing his brother, allocating work to his son, providing feedback to his best friend etc. Can we assume that all of these scenarios are as normal as any other appraisals/interviews/work allocations/feedbacks? The answer may be yes but no one would advocate this and would consider the outcome to be objective. That’s one of the grey area which makes relationships at workplace quite toxic and raises eyebrows from everyone irrespective of the level of objectivity maintained. Sometimes the safest bet to avoid an issue is to avoid the situation which can create the issue.

I have come across many cases where members themselves raise hands requesting for change of arrangement as they sense compromise of independence at a very early stage. I strongly feel that if someone is genuinely interested in one’s career and in a close relationship, the smallest favor they can do to everyone is to avoid working with the concerned person so that no one is prompted to question the arrangement and also they can be relieved of the pressure for not being objective. Maintaining healthy relationships and independence is the moral responsibility of every personnel and more we embrace it, lesser is the probability that it will have adverse effect on anyone!!!

Disclaimer: Nothing written in this blog has reflection of any individual known to me/place of my work. It’s purely based on experiences we come across quite often and share with each other.

Facebook or book of invisible faces?

Today the brand equity of Facebook is almost at par with the brands which fulfill our basic necessities of life. Not having a Facebook account is as good as not having an email id or a mobile number. This forum is considered to be the only platform whereby you can be connected with your acquaintances. It hardly matters that you are active/inactive user, visit Facebook 10 times a day or once in 10 days, know how it works/not even aware of basic functionalities. All that matters is that you ought to have a Facebook account which allows you to peep inside someone’s personal space to the extent someone’s personal life is at display.

From the user perspective, the domain of Facebook is huge and everyone uses it the way they perceive it to be. For some it’s the medium to be updated of what their friends and family are upto, for some it’s the forum to let everyone know what they are upto, for few it’s meant to share important updates on their journey/work/achievements and for few it’s for posting for the sake of posting. In all above scenarios one thing is common which is to let the world know of the things which they might not have known otherwise.

While users use it in different ways, the real objective/face of Facebook is way beyond our imagination. Sometime back everyone used to wonder as to how this is a listed entity with market capitalization of more than $100 billion and what’s their source of income. The only source of revenue common public were aware of was the advertisement income. The users could see small icons of few brands in the right hand corner of the home page based on the options they selected while creating their profile. A Layman never bothered to reconcile the revenue which could have earned with advertisement on the home page and their actual revenue.

We all should be mindful of the fact that the creator of Facebook is the one who at the age of 19 had 4k emails, pictures and addresses of everyone connected to Harvard. After gaining access to this vital information, he called all of them as dumb f***s for sharing it just like that. You can now imagine the ideology and the principles which would have laid as a foundation to create Facebook. The only difference is that now the numbers are magnified from 4k to 2.2 billion. So basically all your personal information, preferences, the sites you visit, the places you travel and the personal conversation you make is tracked round the clock without your knowledge but may be with your permission which is embedded in the settings and not known to 95% of the users.

Just imagine how is it possible that you visited any site, say for online shopping, when you were not logged in to Facebook but when you log in Facebook later on, you see all the products you scanned on the home page. Magic, isn’t it? The worse is that Facebook tracks all the internet users even when they don’t have a Facebook account. Facebook is also alleged to track WhatsApp conversations and use it for generating advertisement income.  So the moral of the story is that if you are an internet user, you are tracked for everything by someone whom you don’t even know. Isn’t that scary? Well the reality is that all of this is just a drop in the ocean. The magnitude of the real issue and some of the allegations on Facebook is quite grave and can shock you to the core.

After tons of apologies by Facebook in last decade, The Cambridge Analytica fiasco alone is expected to affect 87 million users where their personal information is alleged to be misused for political elections. Steve Bannon who was the campaign manager for Trump’s 2016 presidential election had served as a board member for Cambridge Analytica. Cambridge Analytica is said to be a Company which uses data to change audience behavior. They use data to target voters with hyper specific appeals which is known as psychographic modelling. Although the networking baron Zuckerberg says that it was done without his knowledge but so far his responses have not been convincing at all. Being the CEO of Facebook, he was unaware of the basic functioning of the entity and preferred to stay mum on most of the questions which itself indicates the existence of smoke and mirrors.

Data privacy has been the biggest threat for ever mushrooming digital world. Automation and digitization are the buzzwords today but it’s important to keep our eyes opened for the floodgate of risks this platform is exposed to. We tend to demean those who don’t embrace technology but we should also factor in their apprehensions which are not apprehensions anymore. No matter what will be the outcome of countless severe allegations on Facebook but surely it had invisible faces which were always existing, busy in minting money and laughing at their users. Next time when you share your personal information on any digital forum, think twice on your expectations of data privacy, check countless options under settings and surely don’t be too possessive about it as there will always be a threat of invisible faces watching, monitoring and tracking you in every possible way!!!

Shoebite, an invisible scar in the soul

As per the internet definition of shoebite, it’s is an ugly sore that occurs on the foot after wearing new or ill-fitting shoes (new or ill-fitting shoes brush and rub against the skin, causing friction that eventually results in inflammation, pain and swelling). If I reread the definition by replacing shoe with people, the whole description sounds very familiar and close to something we come across very frequently. So in real life, an ugly sore occurs in our soul when ill-fitting people rub against our equation/relationship which causes friction and eventually results in pain, broken heart and sometimes permanent scars in our soul.

We all know that practically it’s impossible to keep everyone (with whom we interact/meet/work or who are indispensable part of our journey) happy all the time. To this point there is no issue as this is something we brace ourselves for and don’t find it unusual. The surprise comes when someone we trust or the ones in our close circle (by any means, not necessarily the blood relationships) do something/act unexpectedly which is way beyond the boundaries of our imagination/anticipation. Such instances surely resonate in our minds where we try to introspect and find an answer but are unable to do so.

Although the real issue is not the gravity of the act done by someone but is the expectations we develop unconsciously with everyone which differs in magnitude based on the equation we share with each individual. Someone rightly said, “Serenity comes when we trade expectations for acceptance”. If we think logically, anyone will behave/do what they are supposed to or what they are, so what is there to be surprised or get affected. If it’s just the fact that we got to know another shade of an individual out of the 50 shades then the emotional churn should stop with a surprise. It shouldn’t go to the level of feeling sad, heart broken or not able to come out of thinking about the incident hundred times a day.

This is a very common emotion we all go through almost on a daily basis but it’s high time for us to introspect and work on ourselves. We have to understand and acknowledge the fact that each individual is unique and there is no way any person can think/act the way we image it to be. The real secret of happiness is low expectations. We have to learn keeping very low/no expectations from everyone around us and peace will follow automatically. Even if we have some level of expectation, it has to be flexed based on different scenarios as how an individual reacts in a particular scenario differs significantly. As long as we accept the person the way he/she is rather than magically imagining their behavior to sync with our preconceived framework, life will be quite simple and pleasing.

Most of the people I have come across have got great fetish for shoes. With all enthusiasm and sparkle in our eyes we buy new footwear and reserve it for special occasion expecting it to complement with our look. But alas, the glister it had under LED clad rooftop fizzles the moment it starts biting. Can we blame the shoe/brand for this? May be not, as we should have been wise enough to factor in this common behavior. That’s exactly the ask in real life too with different people. We can surely avoid shoebite with different people if we wish to do so. We simply have to make provision for the unforeseen behavior and keep the horizon of your thoughts wider so that other emotions don’t coincide and make invisible scars in our soul!!!

Being unrealistically different to be realistically the same

Being unrealistic is the new reality and there is a paradigm shift in the way basic lessons of life were learnt. If you even think something routine, rational, logical and achievable it means you are obsolete and can never meet anyone’s expectations because you are not being unrealistic. It simply means that you are not challenging the status quo which should be part of your dreams and you should be already dreaming to make it a reality (how and when is not relevant here). This emerging concept is applicable for every walk of life and not confined to few situations/relationships.

If I take example of any workplace, every individual is expected to be a superman with barrage of super natural distinctive powers. It’s so unfortunate when a subordinate and a supervisor meets and the focus is completely on how distinctively the later has done anything in comparison to the peer group. Ideally the subordinate who has done an excellent job should be strutting with tons of confidence. However, he is actually forced to keep his chin down even after long list of achievements just because people have already done it in the past or doing it in the present. How justified is this logic that each and everything an individual does has to be unique and meatier than the entire group or else the eligibility of excellence is completely exhausted with blink of an eye? An individual who is not even aware of what majority of the individuals are doing is expected to surpass them, that’s quite sensible. It’s like expecting an individual to research how anything was done in past 500 years by anyone in this world and accordingly plan their work to do it magically different.

I fail to understand that why we all have the pressure of doing every damn thing innovatively as if we are NASA scientists. Why simplicity is losing its charm and so called innovation (which is mostly repackaging the old stuff endearingly and making it look different/attractive) has to be infused forcibly even if it doesn’t make sense. My generation has grown seeing/listening/doing things which our predecessors, to the nth generation, have done consistently without even pondering or questioning it and that always was a matter of pride. But today, it can even affect your survival if you don’t twist the bread and call it a wrap than roti-sabji. Just imagine a millennial saying “It’s been 10 years and I am going for a morning walk”. Logically there is nothing weird about this but being unrealistically realistic, it sounds odd and bizarre. You expect to hear some fancy form of exercise which helps in burning calories faster than any other form you have ever heard of.

Not sure how attached we are to the realities of life than we ought to portray being attached to the realities of the tons of unrealistic things hovering around us. This pressure/situation is like a pinhole in a balloon which might not be seen or even felt but gradually this pinhole will shrink the balloon to zero. A rooftop can’t be swanky if the entire structure is in a mudland. Innovation or something extra can be cherished only when we first learn to embrace and value the things which are already existing. How owning a Ferrari is relevant if you grapple to have basic necessities of life?

Being different or thinking different is surely an art but the science of basics can never be undermined. Anything done which entails hard work, commitment and giving your 100% might not sound wow or innovative but it doesn’t mean that it was less than 100%. In this era of innovation, synergy can be achieved only when routine things are synced appropriately with non-routine ones. So coming back to the drawing board, the first ask is to be realistic, work hard on basics and finally strive for excellence (not necessarily being different) and things should fall in place as long as the change or being different is encouraged (not as a pre-requisite but as a backbone which will eventually strengthen the basics).

Disclaimer: Nothing written in this blog has reflection of any individual known to me/place of my work/my journey. It’s purely based on experiences we come across quite often and share with each other.

Journey of Life

Life is full of ebb & flow (ups & downs) where each time being upside is an alarm to be a little alert and braces you for the downside & being downside brings tons of hope & strength. These movements from one extreme to other or oscillating between these extremes is the law of nature and everyone has to go through it. Business tycoon Ratan Tata says, “Ups and downs in life are very important to keep us going, because a straight line even in an ECG means we are not alive”. It’s a perpetual journey which offers as well as demands millions of things; however we all cherish the ones which are most coveted & curse the ones which we don’t expect/like.

We all forget to understand the most simplest thing i.e. a day is incomplete & has no charm unless night cast its shadow on it, sweet has no sweetness unless there is an element of pungency, happiness can’t bring smile unless someone has gone through sorrows, rainy season is most awaited for those who are reeling under drought & so on. Similarly, in real life, we should not get complacent with one big achievement/small series of achievements or depressed & disillusioned with one big failure/small series of failures. We are the control owners of different emotions within us and how a particular incident affects us completely depends on us. Society may murmur about our achievements/failures, but how we interpret it is completely on our thought process & not the society. The maturity of an individual is gauged as to how an individual has handled his/her achievement & how he/she has bounced back after failure/s.

The most interesting aspect of life is that the downside for one person may be upside for others and vice versa. If a person is earning “x” amount which makes him happy, the same amount can be trivial for another person which makes him unhappy; a particular scenario at workplace may be an exciting event for few but can be annoying for others; an item can be fancy & swanky for someone but meagre for others; a destination/venue can be enthralling for someone but super boring for others. We always feel that life of others is better than us but we always forget that we are also others for someone else. The moral of the story is even if you are going through something which is little unpleasant & unexpected be mindful of the fact that the same unpleasant scenario can be quite normal for someone else and secondly nothing is permanent in life. On your downside, life gives you enough courage to deal with the situation and during upside, it gives ample opportunities to handle your success/achievement.

Philosophers say no event/incident in a life is so big (pleasantly/ unpleasantly) which will bring the world to an end. I have personally seen so many people close/known to me who were nowhere at some point of time and today they are used as an example & on contrary there have been few who had reached to stratospheric heights in their life but today they are grappling even for their survival. It again boils down the fact that we have to tune our mind in a way whereby we are not completely carried away with the happening/not happening of any incident. If we are doing well then it calls for keeping our eyes wide open to sense & handle any unforeseen event & if we are struggling in our personal/professional life, always be hopeful and look for the bright light at the end of the gloomy tunnel which sometimes is not visible with the naked eyes. Normally this bright light is not visible due to our strong and dangerous emotions within us i.e. anger, pessimism, ego, jealousy, arrogance etc.

If I just talk about my professional journey, I have experienced the golden period where every single moment was super rewarding, overwhelming & exciting. I couldn’t even image of a scenario which can ever bring me down but just after that I have gone through the worst which was even lower than the ground level. It lasted for a prolonged period & tested me million times but for some reason I was hopeful & patient & soon after that I regained whatever I had lost. So sometimes lower points in life is like a trampoline which will take you much higher than the base level but that’s only possible when you experience low in equal proportion to your highs. Always keep in your mind that life offers you reconciliation where every moment might not be perfect but it will always be reconciled with other moment/s. If it’s a very bad day at work, it may tend to be one of the best day at home & vice versa.

Let’s embrace this journey the way it’s destined for us without making any comparison with someone where we might perceive few things the way it’s projected to us but not the way it is in real. Even if it is real it’s destined for someone else and there is no point of drooling over it. The journey of each one of us is unique & customized so let’s accept it and strut as if we are the king of our fortune & not the slaves!!!

Office Politics: Think before you are at the brink of getting sinked!!!

Office politics is something which is an indispensable part of any organization across the globe but unfortunately there is no anti-virus software which can reduce threats caused by political viruses. It exits at each level and in every possible form irrespective of the industry or the nature of business. Most of the entities today are reeling under skyrocketing rates of attrition, but still don’t agree/introspect the existence of politics which is dampening their glossy power point slides with unrealistic and imaginary growth numbers. It’s really important to decode the root cause of this epidemic which is not apparently visible but costlier than any tangible asset owned by an entity.

The strangest fact, which is very hard to digest, is that the element of politics is induced and fueled by an entity itself but the so called “professionalism”, doesn’t allow it to accept it. Every single entity visibly/invisibly has gamut of policies, procedures, code of ethics and so on which is obviously made to set protocols for minutest possible thing being done on a day to day basis. However, in reality there are countless situations where an entity has to get pragmatic and to deviate with the set ground rules. These deviations are done, agreed and sealed at higher levels in closed glass aquariums where it is assumed that no one can see their fish mouths moving but the seeds of political epidemic are sown from this stage. These seeds are watered by the same people in the closed glass rooms as they need something do discuss with their besties. These besties are normally at the same level and were not present in the room & this chain of discussion goes on which spreads like wildfire in a forest.

  

Although everyone is in the impression that they are senior members and the specific information is known to them only but alas, it’s like dealing in shares based on some tips/advice assuming you are the only member of the executive group who have access to this information. Now it’s implied that if deviations are known to the ones who love shortcuts in their life, they find an alternative route to success and start joining/forming the cartel of filth i.e. politics. These cartels start working on their objective i.e. rotting the iron roots of an entity under the cover of professionalism. Although their motive is apparent to everyone but as we all know justice is blind so prima facie nothing can be done as these astute stupid’s can consume tons of burger without leaving ketchup stains at any place. As an entity grows, these cartels also mushroom as the current members need more morons to operate a separate entity within an entity with their self-written rules and regulations.

The domain of office politics is mammoth and is spread more than just doing favoritism to few non-eligible people and making them at par or even better than the best people in the organization. This epidemic has casted shadow on every possible thing i.e. hiring, yearly appraisal, wrong projection of few members who have good skill set apart from work, recognizing the wrong talent, unfair distribution of work load, giving preferences for better opportunities, passing on filthy work to non-bootlickers and last but not the least and the most dangerous of all is the ego. In every organization there are numerous people who are very high on their ego, so called self-respect and attitude. Their only motto is to survive with a fake identity just like the poor quality of veneer pasted on any furniture which may make it look glossy at the start but very soon it will come apart and then nothing can fix it.

The worse affected are the ones who love their job and day to day work. They can smell lot of things and even being optimistic and positive they see negativity hovering around them & headless chickens flying high. The worse of all is to see new joinees who will be at par or even senior to them but in reality they have lesser experience. They were hired just to meet number targets for the upcoming financial year without even realizing that an entity is digging its own graveyard. It resembles to real life scenario where a family member is concerned with the smallest possible thing happening in the whole world but don’t give a damn as to what is happening at home. I think that’s the reason it is being said that an employee leaves an entity for a person/group of people and has nothing against an entity per se.

In reality, any problem can be solved only when it is identified, understood, acknowledged, diagnosed and rectified. If the problem is created by the entity itself as a ticket to enter the kingdom of successful organizations, then surely the element of politics is going to foster & bloom like anything. There is no dearth of smart people who have their own way of playing politics in a very sublime way. That means in real the competition is for the best politician and not the best talent. Today every single entity devises ways of cost cutting by every possible means, but what about the cost which can alone take care of all the targets set for the years to come. If the entities still want to walk in dark and ignore the monster standing at the end of tunnel, days are not far when political bankruptcy will outshine financial bankruptcy, when the financials of an entity might look quite robust and bright but in reality the entity might be on the verge incurring huge losses which are not even envisaged.  If an entity keeps snakes in their backyard and expects them only to bite the outsiders, it’s not going to happen. So think before you are at the brink of getting sinked!!! 

Indian Parents & their Billion Dollar Logics

India is a unique magnet and everything that exists here attracts lot of debate and discussion. One of my favorite is “Indian Parents” who own a separate identity in this world like other Indian species. Before I proceed I would like to salute all of them for the level of sacrifice they make unlike the parents anywhere else. I would also like to clarify that I have nothing against my parents and we share a very good repo with each other. Having said that, I would like to spill some beans on few bizarre and illogical notions which Indian parents do possess and pass it on from one generation to other without a tinge of alteration.

Recently I was amazed (because it goes completely with what I have seen, heard & experienced so far) with one of daily soap promo on Star Plus where the father tells her daughter- “Promise me you will always listen to me”, “Promise me you will respect my views more than anything else & will never go against any of my decision”, “Promise me you will make me proud & bring fame to our family”. Now what is this??? By the farthest stretch of my imagination I don’t fathom what good we are doing to a kid by infusing these things. These are few signature statements made by most of the Indian parents without even realizing what the real objective behind this is.

To the best of my understanding kids are undoubtedly a part of their parents, but in terms of identity they are surely unique, distinct & independent. Instead of fanning the flames of their own desire/dreams, I guess it’s more sensible to work towards the strengths and liking of their kids. If someone has the fervent wish of earning name in the so called society then go ahead and earn it on your own. Why to put so much of pressure on your kids which surpasses the pressure being gauged by pressure cooker manufactures? Why kids need to burn their hands throughout their life at the cost of not being even happy with what they are doing? In this entire process of fulfilling their own dreams, Indian parents give multiple options to their kids- you can be anything you want “doctor/CA/Engineer”. Oh really??? It’s like follow your dreams but only the ones which we approve.

I have heard multiple cases where parents aren’t sure whether their kid is in 6^th or 7^th class, but when it comes to career counselling, Indian Parents are deemed best mentors on the earth.  If nothing works for Indian parents they tend to use the most dangerous weapon i.e. emotional blackmail and the most common of all is “After everything we have done for you, you can’t fulfill this one wish of ours”, “your cousins are well settled and so happy today just because they listened to their parents”, “its ok if you chose to run a phav bhaji stall” etc. The funniest part of all this is that their logics are spread like a virus to other aspects of life as well. One of the most peculiar & common one is taking their kids to different marriages/other insignificant occasions to mark attendance of the entire family so that the host family will be indebted to come for any invitation made by them in future. Now that’s what we call a million dollar logic which I will never understand in the ages to come.

When it comes to their billion dollar logics, it has to be regarding marriage which is just mind boggling. The most weird ones are “Its your grandparents last wish to attend your marriage, if not to see their grandchildren”, “your younger brother/sister can’t get married until you do”, “The guy is from a rich family and he will keep you happy”, “Society will think there is something wrong with you”. Huhhhhh….my goodness…completely speechless and dumbstruck!! Forget about the logic, to the best of my experience, even the illogical things I have come across in my life, were much more logical than these super-odd ones. The irony is that the above mentioned ones are just the tip of the iceberg, in reality there are countless such logics which Indian parents believe are excerpts from Bible and there is no scope of even giving a second thought to it. Can anyone explain to me as to how someone else can be happier/disappointed than me with my decision of marriage and if that’s the case then there is seriously something wrong.

Time has changed & progressed so is the logic by Indian parents. New age parents are bitten by multi talent bug which makes them go even crazier than old age parents. At the age of 4 to 7, new age parents expect their kids to score highest marks/grades, dance, sing, swim,  do artistic work & so on. If their kid has scored 90 marks they are happy provided everyone else scored less than 90, but if others have scored 99, then it’s a matter of grave concern. Parents find reasons to brag upon by any means.  I hear parents saying my 3 year kid can operate all smartphones at my home. For god sake don’t be in this misconception that this is a talent. This is simply driving your kid to be the dumbest person who will need a device for the smallest possible thing. It’s high time we introspect and realize these small things, specially pushing our kids for getting highest marks, which doesn’t make sense at all. I have seen lot of my friends who were good scorer during school days and today they are grappling for their survival.

It’s a matter of common sense that in such a large population how everyone can be number one. As long as the kid is street smart and understands the curriculum that’s more than enough and parents should feel blessed about it. In this fast changing world things get obsolete at a very fast pace. If someone continues to apply those age old redundant logics they are simply preparing their kid to rebel and discard whatever they say. Instead of handholding kids for petty things, it’s more important to make them strong enough on real grounds so that they can deal with real life situations in a more sensible, logical & matured way. I don’t question everything our elders say as per their experience, all I am trying to say is to do a reality check of those logics in today’s context and surely with some adjustment those logics will bring everyone on the same pageJJJ