Shoebite, an invisible scar in the soul

As per the internet definition of shoebite, it’s is an ugly sore that occurs on the foot after wearing new or ill-fitting shoes (new or ill-fitting shoes brush and rub against the skin, causing friction that eventually results in inflammation, pain and swelling). If I reread the definition by replacing shoe with people, the whole description sounds very familiar and close to something we come across very frequently. So in real life, an ugly sore occurs in our soul when ill-fitting people rub against our equation/relationship which causes friction and eventually results in pain, broken heart and sometimes permanent scars in our soul.

We all know that practically it’s impossible to keep everyone (with whom we interact/meet/work or who are indispensable part of our journey) happy all the time. To this point there is no issue as this is something we brace ourselves for and don’t find it unusual. The surprise comes when someone we trust or the ones in our close circle (by any means, not necessarily the blood relationships) do something/act unexpectedly which is way beyond the boundaries of our imagination/anticipation. Such instances surely resonate in our minds where we try to introspect and find an answer but are unable to do so.

Although the real issue is not the gravity of the act done by someone but is the expectations we develop unconsciously with everyone which differs in magnitude based on the equation we share with each individual. Someone rightly said, “Serenity comes when we trade expectations for acceptance”. If we think logically, anyone will behave/do what they are supposed to or what they are, so what is there to be surprised or get affected. If it’s just the fact that we got to know another shade of an individual out of the 50 shades then the emotional churn should stop with a surprise. It shouldn’t go to the level of feeling sad, heart broken or not able to come out of thinking about the incident hundred times a day.

This is a very common emotion we all go through almost on a daily basis but it’s high time for us to introspect and work on ourselves. We have to understand and acknowledge the fact that each individual is unique and there is no way any person can think/act the way we image it to be. The real secret of happiness is low expectations. We have to learn keeping very low/no expectations from everyone around us and peace will follow automatically. Even if we have some level of expectation, it has to be flexed based on different scenarios as how an individual reacts in a particular scenario differs significantly. As long as we accept the person the way he/she is rather than magically imagining their behavior to sync with our preconceived framework, life will be quite simple and pleasing.

Most of the people I have come across have got great fetish for shoes. With all enthusiasm and sparkle in our eyes we buy new footwear and reserve it for special occasion expecting it to complement with our look. But alas, the glister it had under LED clad rooftop fizzles the moment it starts biting. Can we blame the shoe/brand for this? May be not, as we should have been wise enough to factor in this common behavior. That’s exactly the ask in real life too with different people. We can surely avoid shoebite with different people if we wish to do so. We simply have to make provision for the unforeseen behavior and keep the horizon of your thoughts wider so that other emotions don’t coincide and make invisible scars in our soul!!!