India is a
unique magnet and everything that exists here attracts lot of debate and
discussion. One of my favorite is “Indian Parents” who own a separate identity
in this world like other Indian species. Before I proceed I would like to
salute all of them for the level of sacrifice they make unlike the parents
anywhere else. I would also like to clarify that I have nothing against my
parents and we share a very good repo with each other. Having said that, I
would like to spill some beans on few bizarre and illogical notions which Indian
parents do possess and pass it on from one generation to other without a tinge
of alteration.
Recently I was amazed
(because it goes completely with what I have
seen, heard & experienced so far) with one of daily soap promo on Star Plus where
the father tells her daughter- “Promise me you will always listen to me”, “Promise
me you will respect my views more than anything else & will never go
against any of my decision”, “Promise me you will make me proud & bring
fame to our family”. Now what is this??? By the farthest stretch of my
imagination I don’t fathom what good we are doing to a kid by infusing these
things. These are few signature statements made by most of the Indian parents without
even realizing what the real objective behind this is.
To the best of
my understanding kids are undoubtedly a part of their parents, but in terms of
identity they are surely unique, distinct & independent. Instead of fanning
the flames of their own desire/dreams, I guess it’s more sensible to work
towards the strengths and liking of their kids. If someone has the fervent
wish of earning name in the so called society then go ahead and earn it on your
own. Why to put so much of pressure on your kids which surpasses the pressure
being gauged by pressure cooker manufactures? Why kids need to burn their hands
throughout their life at the cost of not being even happy with what they are
doing? In this entire process of fulfilling their own dreams, Indian parents
give multiple options to their kids- you can be anything you want
“doctor/CA/Engineer”. Oh really??? It’s like follow your dreams but only the
ones which we approve.
I have heard
multiple cases where parents aren’t sure whether their kid is in 6th
or 7th class, but when it comes to career counselling, Indian Parents
are deemed best mentors on the earth. If
nothing works for Indian parents they tend to use the most dangerous weapon
i.e. emotional blackmail and the most common of all is “After everything we
have done for you, you can’t fulfill this one wish of ours”, “your cousins are
well settled and so happy today just because they listened to their parents”, “its
ok if you chose to run a phav bhaji stall” etc. The funniest part of all this
is that their logics are spread like a virus to other aspects of life as well.
One of the most peculiar & common one is taking their kids to different
marriages/other insignificant occasions to mark attendance of the entire family
so that the host family will be indebted to come for any invitation made by them
in future. Now that’s what we call a million dollar logic which I will never
understand in the ages to come.
When it comes to
their billion dollar logics, it has to be regarding marriage which is just mind
boggling. The most weird ones are “Its your grandparents last wish to attend
your marriage, if not to see their grandchildren”, “your younger brother/sister
can’t get married until you do”, “The guy is from a rich family and he will
keep you happy”, “Society will think there is something wrong with you”.
Huhhhhh….my goodness…completely speechless and dumbstruck!! Forget about the
logic, to the best of my experience, even the illogical things I have come
across in my life, were much more logical than these super-odd ones. The irony
is that the above mentioned ones are just the tip of the iceberg, in reality
there are countless such logics which Indian parents believe are excerpts from
Bible and there is no scope of even giving a second thought to it. Can anyone
explain to me as to how someone else can be happier/disappointed than me with
my decision of marriage and if that’s the case then there is seriously
something wrong.
Time has changed
& progressed so is the logic by Indian parents. New age parents are bitten
by multi talent bug which makes them go even crazier than old age parents. At
the age of 4 to 7, new age parents expect their kids to score highest
marks/grades, dance, sing, swim, do
artistic work & so on. If their kid has scored 90 marks they are happy
provided everyone else scored less than 90, but if others have scored 99, then it’s
a matter of grave concern. Parents find reasons to brag upon by any means. I hear parents saying my 3 year kid can
operate all smartphones at my home. For god sake don’t be in this misconception
that this is a talent. This is simply driving your kid to be the dumbest person
who will need a device for the smallest possible thing. It’s high time we introspect
and realize these small things, specially pushing our kids for getting highest
marks, which doesn’t make sense at all. I have seen lot of my friends who were
good scorer during school days and today they are grappling for their survival.
It’s a matter of
common sense that in such a large population how everyone can be number one. As
long as the kid is street smart and understands the curriculum that’s more than
enough and parents should feel blessed about it. In this fast changing world
things get obsolete at a very fast pace. If someone continues to apply those
age old redundant logics they are simply preparing their kid to rebel and
discard whatever they say. Instead of handholding kids for petty things, it’s
more important to make them strong enough on real grounds so that they can deal
with real life situations in a more sensible, logical & matured way. I
don’t question everything our elders say as per their experience, all I am
trying to say is to do a reality check of those logics in today’s context and
surely with some adjustment those logics will bring everyone on the same pageJJJ
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