Journey of Life

Life is full of ebb & flow (ups & downs) where each time being upside is an alarm to be a little alert and braces you for the downside & being downside brings tons of hope & strength. These movements from one extreme to other or oscillating between these extremes is the law of nature and everyone has to go through it. Business tycoon Ratan Tata says, “Ups and downs in life are very important to keep us going, because a straight line even in an ECG means we are not alive”. It’s a perpetual journey which offers as well as demands millions of things; however we all cherish the ones which are most coveted & curse the ones which we don’t expect/like.

We all forget to understand the most simplest thing i.e. a day is incomplete & has no charm unless night cast its shadow on it, sweet has no sweetness unless there is an element of pungency, happiness can’t bring smile unless someone has gone through sorrows, rainy season is most awaited for those who are reeling under drought & so on. Similarly, in real life, we should not get complacent with one big achievement/small series of achievements or depressed & disillusioned with one big failure/small series of failures. We are the control owners of different emotions within us and how a particular incident affects us completely depends on us. Society may murmur about our achievements/failures, but how we interpret it is completely on our thought process & not the society. The maturity of an individual is gauged as to how an individual has handled his/her achievement & how he/she has bounced back after failure/s.

The most interesting aspect of life is that the downside for one person may be upside for others and vice versa. If a person is earning “x” amount which makes him happy, the same amount can be trivial for another person which makes him unhappy; a particular scenario at workplace may be an exciting event for few but can be annoying for others; an item can be fancy & swanky for someone but meagre for others; a destination/venue can be enthralling for someone but super boring for others. We always feel that life of others is better than us but we always forget that we are also others for someone else. The moral of the story is even if you are going through something which is little unpleasant & unexpected be mindful of the fact that the same unpleasant scenario can be quite normal for someone else and secondly nothing is permanent in life. On your downside, life gives you enough courage to deal with the situation and during upside, it gives ample opportunities to handle your success/achievement.

Philosophers say no event/incident in a life is so big (pleasantly/ unpleasantly) which will bring the world to an end. I have personally seen so many people close/known to me who were nowhere at some point of time and today they are used as an example & on contrary there have been few who had reached to stratospheric heights in their life but today they are grappling even for their survival. It again boils down the fact that we have to tune our mind in a way whereby we are not completely carried away with the happening/not happening of any incident. If we are doing well then it calls for keeping our eyes wide open to sense & handle any unforeseen event & if we are struggling in our personal/professional life, always be hopeful and look for the bright light at the end of the gloomy tunnel which sometimes is not visible with the naked eyes. Normally this bright light is not visible due to our strong and dangerous emotions within us i.e. anger, pessimism, ego, jealousy, arrogance etc.

If I just talk about my professional journey, I have experienced the golden period where every single moment was super rewarding, overwhelming & exciting. I couldn’t even image of a scenario which can ever bring me down but just after that I have gone through the worst which was even lower than the ground level. It lasted for a prolonged period & tested me million times but for some reason I was hopeful & patient & soon after that I regained whatever I had lost. So sometimes lower points in life is like a trampoline which will take you much higher than the base level but that’s only possible when you experience low in equal proportion to your highs. Always keep in your mind that life offers you reconciliation where every moment might not be perfect but it will always be reconciled with other moment/s. If it’s a very bad day at work, it may tend to be one of the best day at home & vice versa.

Let’s embrace this journey the way it’s destined for us without making any comparison with someone where we might perceive few things the way it’s projected to us but not the way it is in real. Even if it is real it’s destined for someone else and there is no point of drooling over it. The journey of each one of us is unique & customized so let’s accept it and strut as if we are the king of our fortune & not the slaves!!!

Office Politics: Think before you are at the brink of getting sinked!!!

Office politics is something which is an indispensable part of any organization across the globe but unfortunately there is no anti-virus software which can reduce threats caused by political viruses. It exits at each level and in every possible form irrespective of the industry or the nature of business. Most of the entities today are reeling under skyrocketing rates of attrition, but still don’t agree/introspect the existence of politics which is dampening their glossy power point slides with unrealistic and imaginary growth numbers. It’s really important to decode the root cause of this epidemic which is not apparently visible but costlier than any tangible asset owned by an entity.

The strangest fact, which is very hard to digest, is that the element of politics is induced and fueled by an entity itself but the so called “professionalism”, doesn’t allow it to accept it. Every single entity visibly/invisibly has gamut of policies, procedures, code of ethics and so on which is obviously made to set protocols for minutest possible thing being done on a day to day basis. However, in reality there are countless situations where an entity has to get pragmatic and to deviate with the set ground rules. These deviations are done, agreed and sealed at higher levels in closed glass aquariums where it is assumed that no one can see their fish mouths moving but the seeds of political epidemic are sown from this stage. These seeds are watered by the same people in the closed glass rooms as they need something do discuss with their besties. These besties are normally at the same level and were not present in the room & this chain of discussion goes on which spreads like wildfire in a forest.

  

Although everyone is in the impression that they are senior members and the specific information is known to them only but alas, it’s like dealing in shares based on some tips/advice assuming you are the only member of the executive group who have access to this information. Now it’s implied that if deviations are known to the ones who love shortcuts in their life, they find an alternative route to success and start joining/forming the cartel of filth i.e. politics. These cartels start working on their objective i.e. rotting the iron roots of an entity under the cover of professionalism. Although their motive is apparent to everyone but as we all know justice is blind so prima facie nothing can be done as these astute stupid’s can consume tons of burger without leaving ketchup stains at any place. As an entity grows, these cartels also mushroom as the current members need more morons to operate a separate entity within an entity with their self-written rules and regulations.

The domain of office politics is mammoth and is spread more than just doing favoritism to few non-eligible people and making them at par or even better than the best people in the organization. This epidemic has casted shadow on every possible thing i.e. hiring, yearly appraisal, wrong projection of few members who have good skill set apart from work, recognizing the wrong talent, unfair distribution of work load, giving preferences for better opportunities, passing on filthy work to non-bootlickers and last but not the least and the most dangerous of all is the ego. In every organization there are numerous people who are very high on their ego, so called self-respect and attitude. Their only motto is to survive with a fake identity just like the poor quality of veneer pasted on any furniture which may make it look glossy at the start but very soon it will come apart and then nothing can fix it.

The worse affected are the ones who love their job and day to day work. They can smell lot of things and even being optimistic and positive they see negativity hovering around them & headless chickens flying high. The worse of all is to see new joinees who will be at par or even senior to them but in reality they have lesser experience. They were hired just to meet number targets for the upcoming financial year without even realizing that an entity is digging its own graveyard. It resembles to real life scenario where a family member is concerned with the smallest possible thing happening in the whole world but don’t give a damn as to what is happening at home. I think that’s the reason it is being said that an employee leaves an entity for a person/group of people and has nothing against an entity per se.

In reality, any problem can be solved only when it is identified, understood, acknowledged, diagnosed and rectified. If the problem is created by the entity itself as a ticket to enter the kingdom of successful organizations, then surely the element of politics is going to foster & bloom like anything. There is no dearth of smart people who have their own way of playing politics in a very sublime way. That means in real the competition is for the best politician and not the best talent. Today every single entity devises ways of cost cutting by every possible means, but what about the cost which can alone take care of all the targets set for the years to come. If the entities still want to walk in dark and ignore the monster standing at the end of tunnel, days are not far when political bankruptcy will outshine financial bankruptcy, when the financials of an entity might look quite robust and bright but in reality the entity might be on the verge incurring huge losses which are not even envisaged.  If an entity keeps snakes in their backyard and expects them only to bite the outsiders, it’s not going to happen. So think before you are at the brink of getting sinked!!! 

Indian Parents & their Billion Dollar Logics

India is a unique magnet and everything that exists here attracts lot of debate and discussion. One of my favorite is “Indian Parents” who own a separate identity in this world like other Indian species. Before I proceed I would like to salute all of them for the level of sacrifice they make unlike the parents anywhere else. I would also like to clarify that I have nothing against my parents and we share a very good repo with each other. Having said that, I would like to spill some beans on few bizarre and illogical notions which Indian parents do possess and pass it on from one generation to other without a tinge of alteration.

Recently I was amazed (because it goes completely with what I have seen, heard & experienced so far) with one of daily soap promo on Star Plus where the father tells her daughter- “Promise me you will always listen to me”, “Promise me you will respect my views more than anything else & will never go against any of my decision”, “Promise me you will make me proud & bring fame to our family”. Now what is this??? By the farthest stretch of my imagination I don’t fathom what good we are doing to a kid by infusing these things. These are few signature statements made by most of the Indian parents without even realizing what the real objective behind this is.

To the best of my understanding kids are undoubtedly a part of their parents, but in terms of identity they are surely unique, distinct & independent. Instead of fanning the flames of their own desire/dreams, I guess it’s more sensible to work towards the strengths and liking of their kids. If someone has the fervent wish of earning name in the so called society then go ahead and earn it on your own. Why to put so much of pressure on your kids which surpasses the pressure being gauged by pressure cooker manufactures? Why kids need to burn their hands throughout their life at the cost of not being even happy with what they are doing? In this entire process of fulfilling their own dreams, Indian parents give multiple options to their kids- you can be anything you want “doctor/CA/Engineer”. Oh really??? It’s like follow your dreams but only the ones which we approve.

I have heard multiple cases where parents aren’t sure whether their kid is in 6^th or 7^th class, but when it comes to career counselling, Indian Parents are deemed best mentors on the earth.  If nothing works for Indian parents they tend to use the most dangerous weapon i.e. emotional blackmail and the most common of all is “After everything we have done for you, you can’t fulfill this one wish of ours”, “your cousins are well settled and so happy today just because they listened to their parents”, “its ok if you chose to run a phav bhaji stall” etc. The funniest part of all this is that their logics are spread like a virus to other aspects of life as well. One of the most peculiar & common one is taking their kids to different marriages/other insignificant occasions to mark attendance of the entire family so that the host family will be indebted to come for any invitation made by them in future. Now that’s what we call a million dollar logic which I will never understand in the ages to come.

When it comes to their billion dollar logics, it has to be regarding marriage which is just mind boggling. The most weird ones are “Its your grandparents last wish to attend your marriage, if not to see their grandchildren”, “your younger brother/sister can’t get married until you do”, “The guy is from a rich family and he will keep you happy”, “Society will think there is something wrong with you”. Huhhhhh….my goodness…completely speechless and dumbstruck!! Forget about the logic, to the best of my experience, even the illogical things I have come across in my life, were much more logical than these super-odd ones. The irony is that the above mentioned ones are just the tip of the iceberg, in reality there are countless such logics which Indian parents believe are excerpts from Bible and there is no scope of even giving a second thought to it. Can anyone explain to me as to how someone else can be happier/disappointed than me with my decision of marriage and if that’s the case then there is seriously something wrong.

Time has changed & progressed so is the logic by Indian parents. New age parents are bitten by multi talent bug which makes them go even crazier than old age parents. At the age of 4 to 7, new age parents expect their kids to score highest marks/grades, dance, sing, swim,  do artistic work & so on. If their kid has scored 90 marks they are happy provided everyone else scored less than 90, but if others have scored 99, then it’s a matter of grave concern. Parents find reasons to brag upon by any means.  I hear parents saying my 3 year kid can operate all smartphones at my home. For god sake don’t be in this misconception that this is a talent. This is simply driving your kid to be the dumbest person who will need a device for the smallest possible thing. It’s high time we introspect and realize these small things, specially pushing our kids for getting highest marks, which doesn’t make sense at all. I have seen lot of my friends who were good scorer during school days and today they are grappling for their survival.

It’s a matter of common sense that in such a large population how everyone can be number one. As long as the kid is street smart and understands the curriculum that’s more than enough and parents should feel blessed about it. In this fast changing world things get obsolete at a very fast pace. If someone continues to apply those age old redundant logics they are simply preparing their kid to rebel and discard whatever they say. Instead of handholding kids for petty things, it’s more important to make them strong enough on real grounds so that they can deal with real life situations in a more sensible, logical & matured way. I don’t question everything our elders say as per their experience, all I am trying to say is to do a reality check of those logics in today’s context and surely with some adjustment those logics will bring everyone on the same pageJJJ

Indian wedding…a real wedding or an event of shedding??

Indian wedding is globally acknowledged & synonymized as an affair of mockery and a spend-a-thon which exemplifies grandeur, beeline of rituals (mostly the ones which have no logic except the element of auspiciousness they offer as per the retired members of the family), unnecessary invitees who make sure to go to the bride & groom to say “beta pechana” & moronic food menu where the couple’s parents feel proud as if they are feeding poor’s from the entire world. Globally wedding day is perceived to be the most special day for the couple, but surprisingly in India, it’s the most special day for array of people who keep dreaming about this day for their entire life. The most bizarre part of their dream is the fact that all of them, except the bride & groom, unanimously dream about this day as an event which will give them an opportunity to showcase their real wealth to the entire world, the day when hardly known people with fake smile will come to them to praise for the decoration, food menu, location of the venue & expensive gifts which have to surely surpass the standards set in previous weddings and be considered as the new benchmark for the upcoming weddings in the family.

In the mumbo-jumbo process of an Indian wedding, every illogical thing has a hierarchy of gratification for the close family members of the couple i.e. more the level of weirdness, higher the amount of bragging/gratification for them. If the wedding is at an exuberant five star hotel, which majority of the friends, kith and kins of the host family can’t afford or the food menu is so huge that it was not even possible for the invitees to vouch for the list of items or the decoration is gushingly so catchy that everyone has their eyes wide open, then that tantamounts to fulfilling of the real dream to the core. In reality, the most crucial aspect of a wedding i.e. the lovely couple embarking a beautiful journey takes the backseat. No one cares what the bride & groom have to go through with the most heavy costumes they have ever worn, with hundreds of eyes staring at them and making stupid comments/judgments (this girl could have got married to anyone then why this boy, boy must be super rich, girl’s height is at par with boy-wish boy was little taller, bride’s mom is not wearing jewellery in commensurate with the occasion etc.) and last but not least the irritating photographers who are entrusted with the responsibility of creating artificial memories of the event by taking pics of the couple with some predefined poses, for the invitees when they are having dinner and for the adolescents who are lined up next so that these pics can be used as their proposal pic.

In this entire circus, bride & groom are as perplexed as a baby in a dance bar. All that they have dreamt of this day disappears when they see the crazy crowd and unable to identify most of them but at the same time their parents are going gaga over the huge footfall as if the crowd has congregated to congratulate them for their astounding achievement. Throughout the wedding procession the couple keep wondering whether the feeling that they are experiencing is the real one which everyone goes through or its happening only to them. They are in such an obfuscated state of mind that they find it difficult to decipher that the feeling is actually the best one which they have ever experienced or they have to simply smile throughout for everyone without actually being so happy. They can see their group of friends having a gala time but can’t join them. They see their close relatives and loved ones connecting and gossiping but they can just be the spectators. 

Pragmatically how is it possible that unanimously the only memory that a couple has for their wedding day is feeling of drowsiness, nervousness (as lot of unknown people were staring continuously, as to whether or not they were behaving as per standards set by the society, whether some awkward moments were captured by the photographer), being famished for long hours and seeing the entire world gobbling like a wild animal. The worst memory of any wedding is the reception where the couple is showcased to the entire world and the real net worth of two families can be assessed by glancing around bride’s neck, ears and hands. Every tom, dick and harry wants to get themselves clicked with the couple (obviously in a predefined pose) so that they can stamp their presence and may make it to the wedding album as well. The couple has to play the statue game for around 3 hours waiting for that one eureka moment when someone will come and say “give them a break of 2 minutes”, “let them eat something” or “at least let them breathe”.

With passage of time, there are few cases where this imprudent format is completely abolished and an attempt is made to infuse an element of austerity & pragmatism. However, there is no dearth of morons who are still vying to make this event better and bigger than it has ever been conceived. It’s high time for all of us to introspect the importance of showing off the wealth we have generated in decades to the bunch of irrelevant people vis-à-vis the hard earned money being used for a quality life of the couple who have kick started their journey. No matter how much you splurge and take care of minutest possible thing there are few jealous idiots in each family to crib, curse, comment and coil up simple things to the embarrassment of host family. We need to redefine the domain of eligibility of our earnings i.e. society or the couple who are our own blood. It is impossible to rationalize and justify the irrational spending at the cost of being indebted for the rest of the life. So let it be an event of wedding and avoid making it an event of shedding.